Alice in Wonderland

Do you ever ask, why is this happening is God testing us? If God is testing us all the time, seeing if we really have him in our hearts, then will we ever stop being Alice in Wonderland? Some might think so, some might not.

I really think that people have the misconception about age, we think that age defines if we are old or not. When you are 19 and someone is 30, you think that they are old, but not too old. We think that someone in their 70s is old, and 90s is just unthinkably old right? But once you start living the big moments in life, the ones you never know for sure if you are going to experience, but are always secretly hoping you will, like true love, marriage, kids, a house, career, will you ever get your big break, find your true happiness. The moment that you experience one of your big moments, your life starts living to the beat of a techno song. You enjoy it while you’re hearing it and seeing it, and then before you know it, the song is over, and there was just one second in between, and then the next song of a completely different genre starts playing. The song doesn’t stop, so it distracts you from hearing the beat of the last song. Age doesn’t define how old we are, what makes us seem so old so soon, is when we don’t realize that each moment in life has it’s song, and every song ends, but there is always another song… J. The point is, is that if you are thinking life’s moments are coming at you one after another and you are starting to think wait, stop, I wanna go back, just remember to pause the next song, not for long, just for a few seconds to remember the moment, the memory and to remember to enjoy the next one that is coming.

See, God really did know what he was doing when he created the earth, there is no way you can deny the freedom, the pause in your song when you are out in nature. When you are standing at the top of a mountain peak and you see a valley and some fog and clouds and birds soaring the tops, you can’t deny that when you see a rainbow, or the rolling waves of a blue blue ocean, that you don’t feel the pause from life, the reflection on how precious it is, how fast it will go, and how age can’t define us, but our moments can and if we don’t take a break, or a breath to enjoy this life, age gets the best of us. This life is just a test a much enjoyed and hated test, but the biggest test we will ever take.

So if your song played to fast, and by the time you reached for the pause button it was all done, find your resting place, find the place of peace, your mountain top, your roaring ocean, or rolling lake, go to it, take your life and the moments in, and then prepare yourself to teach others how to deal with their songs, and how to deal with the next song playing in your life.

A little inspiration maybe?

I don’t know how I feel. I mean of course I am ecstatic about MY wedding. The one thing you know is the biggest moment in your life before having a child. I am so thankful to be truly in love to be able to want and get married. Yes I am very happy, and even though it’s a lot of planning and all the talk about money, stress. I feel completely at peace with the money part. What is weird is that I have 50 bucks in my account and Eric isn’t too far from that, but, I am not worried at all. It makes me smile. It deepens my relationship with God.

But Aside from the happiness the planning the busyness of it all, I feel something that I can’t quite explain with words. It’s like I keep running my hand open high over a flame, I can feel the heat, but I am left moving back and forth a wide gap to try to pinpoint where that flame was started.

I know that everything will work out, and that I have so much to look forward to in life. But, I guess what keeps my hand searching might be stress, life, the fact that I feel like after the wedding, there isn't any more day dreaming. It’s real life. The years in college are now supposed to go into practice. I am now expected to know everything that my degree says: B.A- Journalism. What is scary is the media world yes, but scarier is thinking about hot to balance the career and a family.

Life never goes as you plan. It sure didn’t for me. I did NOT want anything but to go to NYC and become a writer for some big name magazine. I would have started as the assistant’s assistant, but, of course a boy came.

I know that Eric was meant to come and I wasn’t meant to go to NYC. But I am still hoping that I am meant to do something important with my career. Somehow someway, I just have to become successful in writing, somehow.

It’s scary to think about the fact that all in one year I graduate from college, get married, and move to a brand new state and city, and hoping to find a job in Journalism.

What is scarier is question your own abilities, asking your self over and over, Can I do that? Is that for me? Then once you enter that work field, the constant comparison comes, wow, she’s really good. I can’t do that. Defeat comes in.

I guess that’s when I have really nothing to fear, because I know that I don’t have to give in to those negative thoughts, the pressures of a false media and demand. All I do is give in to god, all my worries my thoughts, me weakness; and he will say I know, it’s ok. Let me take care of it.

So why do we still live in fear, and have the moments when we just want to lay on the floor in the dark listening to music dangerously loud to drown out those voices?

I guess the only answer is, we are human. We feel it all.

So I guess it’s ok to feel all these emotions, but what I need to keep in check, is the fact to give the feelings to God, Don’t let yourself build a wall of all the questions and fears. You can’t build a wall before you have even gotten to where you think you need to be. Don’t trap yourself. And as always loud music is great therapy to a day, or confusion.

Another good one, spend some time with God, in whatever way he speaks to you. It doesn’t have to be church, even the bible; it could be walking in the woods, or praying or getting together with other Christians. God speaks to us all differently, just don’t be scared.

It's been awhile...

It's been awhile.... that usually happens with the holidays and the break from school though. Christmas was wonderful, everything about it was great. New Years eve was pretty awesome too. My birthday this year was fun I got to be with my family and get a glimpse of Raleigh, Nc, because that is now Eric and I's destination spot after we are married and I graduate. It was hard coming back to New York in the cold and snow, but today, it is in the 60's. I have flip flops on. How I feel about this weather is scared though. This shouldn't be happening. Doesn't it scare you to hear on the news in two days we are going to have snow? That's a pretty big jump. I take it as just realizing you gotta appreciate every day every moment, that makes you smile, because you have no idea what life has in store for any of us. OK............... WEDDING TIME So it's all I can think about now that it's finally 2008 We have our reception reserved and we also reserved campsites, because I know that Eric and I are camping out and so are my parents and my brother. Here is a picture of what I am hoping will work out for the groomsmen. Sorry about the head, thats not important anyways!! :)




Today though I am going to give you something pretty cool and handy!!
Our wedding website
Definetly check it out!! It has hotel information and where the ceremony and reception are going to be. If you are reading this and are invited to the wedding, I must advise you, our ceremony location (canandaigua) is such a tourist spot that you should really book something within the next month or so. I know it's tight after christmas and all, but, I would hate to see anyone not be able to come because of being able to stay somewhere. I do have on there a web site that gives away free nights! So go right now and check it out!! I'll be talking to you soon!!

Catering

Hi Guys!!

So we were thinking of doing our own food for the wedding. By that I mean we wanted to buy large quantities of items like potato salad, salad, and that kind of thing and then have a friend of ours cook hamburgers and chicken on the grills that are provided at the reception site.

I think we have come up with a better solution. We are looking at Chivettas Chicken
you should check it out! I haven't had anything from them, but Eric has and said he loves it. We are going to go there and sample everything, but if you are familiar with it, let me know what you think. The price is very reasonable, its $10 a person including rolls, chef salad, half a chicken, potato salad and beans. We can change the potato salad and beans to what ever else they offer. It seems like a great deal. This will be much better, then we don't have to worry about getting all the items together and having someone cook on a charcoal grill, that they aren't familiar with!!

Also, the date for the Bridal Shower has been set. May 17th, 2008. That is very exciting. I'll have more details when it gets closer.

It is hard to plan for this wedding and set budgets especially when today there is so many options. Then once I think ok, we can spend this amount, I remember that in a few short months, CHRISTMAS, is going to be here, and, my 23rd Birthday!! Which really isn't that exciting anymore.
I am very excited for Christmas this year. Not for presents and for even buying presents, just because I will be at home. This was the first year since my parents moved to North carolina, that I didn't stay with them for a month or more during the summer. So I can't wait to be there with my family. Eric will be coming with too, so that makes it even better.
Ok let me know what you think for the catering place or if you have any other suggestions. This weekend I am going to David's Bridal and hopefully finding a bridesmaid dress for the girls..

Have a fantabulous Day!!

New Buisness

Helloooo Everyone!!

I can't believe all the rain we are getting while the south is just getting drier and drier. It is not good. With this kind of drought, and the predicted winter, crops are not looking good for next year! On the bright side, It's apple pickin' time!! Yay! Eric and I actually went a little earlier, and got a bushel, which was wayyy to many. We made a few apple pies and gave them away. We made dried apples and apple sauce! Quite the festivities huh? Anyways I have a main reason for the blog today.. and it's a good one!! Ready............

MY MOM's new buisness. She has been doing floral arrangements for years. Now she is finally going to make them to sell! She also just did the flowers for my Jessica's wedding. I'll give ya some pictures of that soon. So here is her web site. She has great things that you could give your mother's!! Seriously look at it, you won't be disappointed!!

October 4th 2007

Hi GUYS!!!
Today was beautiful out. I can't believe that last year we had a huge snow storm. That was very traumatic, and I am sure all those who experienced it, will remember it forever. I was working at Dunkin, and when we saw Wal-mart go out, we knew something wasn't right!! haha

So today I am going to show you ideas for the bridesmaid dresses. Hopefully it will be between one of these because they are from David's Bridal and I know that they have them all over this country. Each one of my brides maids lives in a different state. It doesn't make it easy at all. Harley(my kitten) just jumped on my lap and farted, and it smells so bad. UGHHH. Yea, thought you would like to know that. So yeah, of course pink is the color. Also, we have ordered our save the date cards and are hoping to send them out the second week in novemeber! That is really exciting.

I am also trying to decide if I should work or not. Eric says that he has enough money, but I feel so scared when we are just making it. I think I am gonna apply, I have a very limited schedule cuz of school anyways. Hopefully something will work out. Gotta love money, right?

Ok well that is the thoughts for today. Harley just can't not lay on my lap when I am on the computer, and then he always has to rest his paw on my right hand, and when it moves around he keeps it on there. Cute yes, but a little annoying. Oh what am i saying he is adorable! Oh here is something you can let me know what you think. I had two articles in the Stylus
and one was on the corn maze in Wheatfield. The picture that went with it, looks nothing like the actual maze. So I let the editor know this and she replys with they needed to fill space, she just googled it and grabbed it, and it's ok because it says it came from online. Hmmm ... interesting. I guess I would just think that it is somewhat false advertising. Because this corn maze that I wrote about isn't scary at all. But the picture gives that image. Go ahead check it out, it's in the lifestyles section. Ok that is all I have to vent about today!! As always, let me know what you are thinking feeling!!

Sorry guys but I can't get the actual picture on here you will have to click the links!!

David's Bridal - Bridesmaid 8933 Short satin halter with brooch.

Alfred Angelo... Find the perfect Wedding Dress, Bridesmaid Dress, Prom Dress, Flower Girl Dress or Mother of the Bride Dress at Alfred Angelo.

Alfred Angelo... Find the perfect Wedding Dress, Bridesmaid Dress, Prom Dress, Flower Girl Dress or Mother of the Bride Dress at Alfred Angelo.

Memory

Today I am not posting wedding stuff. I will tomorrow though. Today I wanted to share an experience that I had, that related to a past experience. So yeah.. enjoy!!

Today something weird happened. I mean weird things happen all the time, depending on what you think is weird. But to me, this was weird. Let me go back to the beginning. About a year ago I was staying at my fiancés house (this is when he was still living with his parents) because I was living in the dorms and going home for the summer. Home for me is in North Carolina where my parents and brothers are. Eric who is my fiancé had the work schedule of 6am -2pm.
I was lucky enough to use that time to get to know my future mother-in-law, for a whole week. This wasn’t a drag or bummer to me. I was excited. She is a great woman and would always be asking if I was hungry and what not. Well, thinking that this would be great bonding time, I decided to rent a chick flick for us to watch.
I love Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman. Well I find a movie with both in it and some other famous actors and it sounds like a crazy romance.
I think with these actors it must be great. WRONG! Never think that, that’s why movies sometimes pay big actors. Anyways, we are watching the movie and so far it’s ok. We get to a scene where a man is iming another person very dirty things. I mean some dirty stuff especially when it’s in front of your boyfriend’s extremely catholic mother. Oh lord, this is my luck. Well after the iming the movie goes on to arguments and drama and kind of hard to follow. Two women shared the same man kinda storyline, but then one is a stripper.
This was the most traumatizing part. At the strip club is Natalie Portman flaunting her self very dirty like. Speaking dirty and the man, is so into it, (of course) Sorry. Anyways I want to die. My ears are on fire, no I am not worked up I am extremely embarrassed and disgusted. I look at Eric’s mom and I think she felt the same. The movie was horrible after wards we were still trying to figure out what exactly happened. I don’t know if we felt like that because we were both uncomfortable with the scenes or what.
But I remember after that all I heard was, you should have seen the movie tas made me watch. Yep, and that is how I bonded with my future mother-in-law. What brings me to this memory, is that today in my playwriting class, my teacher uses this movie as an example. I was shaking my head, inside of course, thinking what is she going to use from this movie. What left me confused is her choice of this movie.

Yes I understood when she explained the scene she chose, but I wonder did she enjoy this movie? Again maybe it was because of my environment. I don’t know though, Mrs. Boland is pretty cool, I just think the movie was in poor taste. So today I couldn’t believe that CLOSER( the movie) was in my play writing class as an example. This movie drives me crazy.. and what a shame because Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman are gorgeous and wonderful actors.